Prowling the Airwaves and the Underground for the best in EDM

Posts tagged “Rape

What Is Rape Culture? Why You Should Care.

I’d been meaning to write a meaty article fully detailing why I am so vehemently anti-slut shaming, anti sexist bullshit, and very viciously feminist. However, before doing so a friend shared an article that much more eloquently summed up what I had wanted to say. In an article entitled ‘What Is Rape Culture’, several Buzzfeed staff members deconstruct and eloquently elucidate the true meaning of ‘rape culture’ and the various components the can be seen in society today.

Many facets of what is covered in this piece are highly applicable to stigma and attitudes present in the attitudes and perceptions at play at major festivals, clubs, raves, and beyond. Recently, one writer of Daily Beat, identified only as ‘Gianna’ wrote about ‘how to be classy‘ and specifically accused the unidentified woman as dressing like a “cheap whore”.  The article from Buzzfeed addresses this kind of ideology directly and succinctly:

“The old metaphor is that women who dress provocatively are the same as homeowners who don’t lock their doors at night. But this argument only further reduces women to objects and asks them to be responsible for preventing their own rape.”-Buzzfeed

In other situations, I’ve found myself offended by some of the content shared by people I consider to be friends. In one such instance, an image of a puppy with the caption jokingly stating that ‘roofies were high in vitamin C’. As someone who has had friends who have been victims of date rape (via drugs) and has direct experience with it, I was incredibly offended. Instead of an apology or a polite resolution, I was met with a “get over it” response typical of rape culture acceptance.

Essentially, I’d been hit with a trigger in the form of a “harmless” rape joke.

“Beneath the debate over whether rape jokes can be funny is the larger question of whether it’s healthy for a society to laugh at the idea of sexual violence.”-Buzzfeed

On a personal aside, I have been that girl. I’ve been the girl who wakes up in an unfamiliar bed with no memory of the night before. I’ve had to scramble terrified into a cab in early hours of the morning frantically texting friends for help to figure out how I got there. I’ve mysteriously lost all memory after only a few drinks, and fearfully wondered if anything had happened against my will while I was compromised. This has happened more than once.  I can tell you, there was nothing funny about it.

Someone reading this might think:

  • “Maybe if you didn’t dress like a whore it wouldn’t have happened.”
  • “Maybe if you didn’t drink so much it wouldn’t have happened.”
  • “Maybe if your friends had taken better care of you / been there it wouldn’t have happened.”
  • “Maybe if you hadn’t stayed out so late it wouldn’t have happened.”

This brings us to what bothers me the most:  we should view rape not as an act brought upon oneself, but as something perpetrated by another.

“Rape culture is telling girls and women to be careful about what you wear, how you wear it, how you carry yourself, where you walk, when you walk there, with whom you walk, whom you trust, what you do, where you do it, with whom you do it, what you drink, how much you drink, whether you make eye contact, if you’re alone, if you’re with a stranger, if you’re in a group, if you’re in a group of strangers, if it’s dark, if the area is unfamiliar, if you’re carrying something, how you carry it, what kind of shoes you’re wearing in case you have to run, what kind of purse you carry, what jewelry you wear, what time it is, what street it is, what environment it is, how many people you sleep with, what kind of people you sleep with, who your friends are, to whom you give your number, who’s around when the delivery guy comes, to get an apartment where you can see who’s at the door before they can see you, to check before you open the door to the delivery guy, to own a dog or a dog-sound-making machine, to get a roommate, to take self-defense, to always be alert always pay attention always watch your back always be aware of your surroundings and never let your guard down for a moment lest you be sexually assaulted and if you are and didn’t follow all the rules it’s your fault.”-Shakesville

I’m sick of reading articles about “how to be classy” or why I should “see the humor” in rape jokes.

The articles cited above are well worth the read, ad I highly recommend everyone read them.

The Buzzfeed article can be found here, and the Shakesville piece here.


A Word on Attire, and Raver Girls

**Apologies, most people were probably expecting a light-hearted writeup about tracks that need to stop being routinely dropped in sets. I promise I will post it, but this post in my mind took precedence.**

Recently, I had the displeasure of overhearing two males discussing why they attended festivals. To put this into context, I was not at my usual venue of choice. I was on the fence about mentioning this in my Borgata post, and opted against it. But truthfully, I should have made mention of it. Since I did not mention it then, I am now.

Allow me to get very real with you right now. I know this is more realness than you've come to expect. Bare with me.

Allow me to get very real with you right now. I know this is more realness than you’ve come to expect. Bare with me.

As I remember, both suit-clad (perhaps VIP status) men were talking about what women wear when attending festivals. One described enjoying all the ‘ravebooty’ hanging out, and I couldn’t help but smile; I am one of many that proudly shows our ravebooty when in attendance. The other mentioned how skimpy the clothes were, and how ‘fuckable’ most of the girls were. Though I found this understandable, I couldn’t help but wonder if there was something intrinsically wrong this view. And then I over heard this:

I had to clamp my jaw as the first elaborated, “I’m hoping to get one drunk enough to fuck the shit out of.”

His comrade let out a laugh, and answered back, “Cheaper than hooker, am I right?”

I understand that recently the media has been infatuated with the topic of ‘rape culture’, and that there have been numerous fiery rants about the way society views the human body, but as a raver (and a scantily clad one) I feel a need to speak up. With strong female figures such as Molly Casa, the iconic fantasy GoGos of EDC, and female ravers everywhere allowing their unique looks to define themselves, I feel its insulting to the entire PLUR society when someone assumes ease of sexuality is reflected by amount of skin showing. I’ve even heard things such as “well you look like a stripper”, “with that outfit she’s asking for it”, and even witnessed an unruly cattiness among female ravers for outfit choices. A girl in pasties should have every right to a safe festival as a girl in a long-sleeved t-shirt; no excuses.

This is a very common clothing choice at raves, and should be viewed as expression, not an invitation.

However what needs to be sorely addressed is a fundamental difference between expression and sexual conquest; If a girl at a rave is clad in fluffies, a tutu, and pasties, she is not inherently ‘asking for the D’, she is not exuding her body as a toy to be played with….fuck she might not even give a crap about you or any men in attendance; most girls do (shocking, I know) go for the music and the non-sexual kinship. And this speaks to a greater need to re-educate both sexes on this problem; teach men the true meaning behind PLUR (the ‘R’ is not for ‘roofie’ or ‘rape’) and teach women that ‘unity’ and ‘respect’ are needed more now than ever. Raver girls are not toys, and what we should be preaching is to teach men not to rape, not to assume a woman’s body is a rite of conquest. Furthermore, what we should preach is the very core principles that define our unified community:

Peace: Everyone clad in anything has the right to a peaceful coexistence at raves

Love: Love is a thing that is won, earned, and consented to fairly. Not taken.

Unity: We must unify to ensure the safety of fellow ravers; if you see a boy or girl (man, woman, or gender non-specific person) in trouble, get help.

Respect: Above all, respect all that are around you; you are all human beings and thereby you are all created equal in each others eyes. Respect feelings, respect boundaries, respect bodies and our right to conceal and reveal them.

We are expressive, and you know what, maybe we do want the D…but that’s for us to decide, not you.

So as we approach festival season, I would like to ask that everyone respect one another; treat even the barest ravers with respect, and remember that we are here for the music just like you.