‘…they only told you you’re good because they wanted to get in your pants’: Feedback I received on my gloving.
Recently, I’ve picked up gloving and have found myself using the art of gloving as an escape from the daily stresses I encounter at work and elsewhere. In the daily practices of perfecting the fluidity of a finger roll to experimenting with a tech concept I see in a tutorial video, I find a quiet little LED oasis where my mind can be at peace. The process is emotional satisfying and mentally relaxing, but recently I received a highly insulting piece of feedback I felt the need to share.
While most comments on Instagram or from suggestions from peers on Reddit have been largely encouraging, in a recent isolated incident, I received a nasty message which played out as follows:
- “You girl glovers only get positive feedback because you are pretty. Most of the men are thirsty niggas and they only told you you’re good because they wanted to get in your pants.”
[note: this is roughly paraphrased from an actual comment I received.]
As someone who has only just gotten started in the gloving community, I fully realize that I am not at the level of a Lust, Navi, or Yume (hell I am light-years away from a being the next Gambit or Socks) and I know full well that my finger rolls are in need of further work. However, to tell someone starting out that the only feedback they’ve received is due solely to the fact that someone wants ‘to get in your pants’ and in no way based on your own merits cuts deep.
Many of us newcomers enter this arena terrified to give light shows alongside more seasoned glovers, often because we think our skills are too novice to present in the company of veterans. For myself personally, it causes me to balk when I see a more technical glover giving a highly tactical show. Sometimes, this perception even prompts me to hurry and put out my lights in fear that I might be seen and asked to trade shows. After having receiving that nasty comment, I feel especially nervous giving a show now, because I’m fearful that I will be perceived to be unqualified solely because I’m female and a ‘thirst trap’. Honestly, I realize most glovers don’t have this perception, and it is a small group of closed-minded individuals that have this incorrect assumption… but it is still enough to ‘spook’ me from giving shows to other glovers, especially men of higher skill sets.
Glovers of any skill level should feel comfortable giving shows to anyone, even if it isn’t an EmazingLights caliber show. I shouldn’t feel nervous to give a show, and I shouldn’t be led to think that my progress is invalid because the feedback I’ve received is due to the ‘thirst’ of my male counterparts.
Honestly, at the moment I’m trying to work past the fear I have of putting myself out there with my gloving; posting to YouTube and Instagram offered a ‘first step’ where I could separate myself from the general public with a computer screen and a ‘ESC’ button if I became overwhelmed with negative comments (and trust me I’ve gotten plenty). Seeing comments like “you need to open your fingers more” and “you need to slow down” have been key assets in helping me improve, and in taking the advice I have seen improvement over time. If you’d like to lend me your advice, my YouTube channel can be found here, and my Instagram here.
I don’t know if I am alone in receiving the kind of messaging of ‘you’re only told you’re good because you’re a hot girl’, but I would appreciate hearing about how others have dealt with similar incidents.